In the 21st century being a young mom isn't exactly a popular trend. I recently was reading an articile in Today's Parent (a Canadian Parenting magazine), and the articule discussed the pros and cons to becoming a mother in your 20's, 30's, and 40's. The pros and cons presented for being a 20-something new mom were:
1. As a young woman in your 20's you are most fertile, therefore conceiving is most likely during this age.
2. In your 20's you're likely to have less complications in your pregnancy.
3. You're also more likely to "bounce back" post-baby and have more energy and fit into your skinny jeans sooner than a 30 or 40-something woman.
1. Your career plans are put on hold at such a young age. You may have to quit school, or delay further educational pursuits.
2. You won't be able to travel and experience the fun parties and exotic islands that the 30 and 40-year old mama's experienced pre-baby.
3. You probably aren't as mature as older women, so you'll have a harder time connecting with your partner, and disciplining your children.
4. Over all, you may feel like you've missed out. While your friends are climbing the corporate ladder, travelling to wonderful places, and getting to know themselves, you'll be trapped in your home with your small, screaming children.
I may be over-exaggerating my "summary" of this article a bit. But, in reality, this is the reaction of so many people to young moms. You only have to be a young mom to figure out what everybody else thinks (or in my case, a young mom-to-be).
Instead of accepting this list of pros and cons, I have decided to come up with my own list.
1. You may have an easier time conceiving, a less complicated pregnancy, and have the ability to "bounce back" quickly in your 20's.
2. If being a mother is something that you've always dreamed of, you get to start your career early! As a young mom you can master the art of diaper-changing, nap-taking, and constant cuddling. Being a mom is the greatest career that you could ever choose. But, if you want to balance a career outside of the home, and your family you can do that too! Nobody is stopping you from doing both, no matter what your age is.
3. Travelling is not off-limits just because you have a family. If you can't afford to travel to Peru you can always find less expensive places to travel to (Canada is full of amazing destinations!) Not to mention the fact that you will likely be an empty nester in your late 40's. You bank account will likely allow you to travel more frequently and in better style in your 40's than in your 20's anyway.
Every single person is different. Most 20-year-olds that are married and having children are doing this because they want to. They wouldn't be happy travelling alone or with a bunch of girls to Europe. They wouldn't be happy working 12-hour days, climbing the career ladder. They don't need to save for expensive purses, or fancy shoes, because their priorities are just different. A 20-year-old with a growing family has a very fulfilling life, and is not looking back regretting their choices. They are holding their wonderful children and thanking God for such amazing gifts.
1. It's hard. But so is being a mom at 30 or 40. Being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and the many other roles that women take on is hard.
With all that being said, I have nothing against women who want to travel before having kids, or want to enjoy their husband, or want to work for a few years. Everybody makes choices for their lives that suit their desires and their needs. But, being a young mom doesn't mean that you're missing out. I have no desire to work outside the home. That may sound crazy, but it's true. I have no desire to spend thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes, when I could be building a home and a future for my family. I have no desire to travel if its not with my husband, and hopefully one-day my kids. This is my desire for my life. Nobody can make a pros and cons list for someone else. We each make our own, and that's how it should be.